Introduction:
Healing from severe and persistent mental illness is an ongoing process. In some ways for many people there is no “complete” healing, no “getting back to normal” (pre-morbid functioning). There is really no putting humpty dumpty back together again – at least not without some persistent cracks in his shell.
It is estimated that 75% of people who have experienced schizophrenia will have ongoing residual symptoms of varying intensity for the rest of their lives. The percentages are not as clear for depression but it is known that people who have experienced more than two severe episodes are much more likely to experience ongoing depression to some degree throughout their lifetimes.
Healing from a severe and persistent mental illness for many people then is an ongoing process not a specific end goal – especially if that goal is to be permanently symptom free. Healing becomes much more of a verb than an adjective and describes an ongoing activity of increasing one’s awareness to recognize the psychosocial stressors that can activate residual energy into manifesting symptoms, take proactive measures to calm, soothe and comfort your sense of self and accessing your support network to help create a “holding environment”.
Recognizing Psychosocial Stressors
Increasing awareness to recognize psychosocial stressors before they become overwhelming begins with accepting that I have a persistent mental illness. This is possibly the most difficult first step. Even today, there is still such a stigma for having a mental illness. It took me a near fatal suicide attempt and being discovered by my roommate before I would accept I had severe depression – I would literally rather have died than admit to myself I have a mental illness.
Once I finally was able to admit it to myself I have a mental illness I could begin to develop “in-sight.” Insight literally is looking inward and being more aware of how my mind and body responds to certain environments, activities and relationships. As I looked and listened inwardly, I could begin to discern where, how, when and with whom I felt most vulnerable to reactivating the residual energy of depression that is almost always present in either a passive or active form. This form of inner looking and listening is called “focusing” and utilizes the “felt sense” to intuitively understand what is just below the surface of awareness but present within body consciousness.
Proactively Calm, Soothe and Comfort
Learning to be more present within my own body allows me to provide calming, soothing and inner comfort before my depressive symptoms become so activated that they can take on a life of their own. The sooner I can recognize the “ramping up” of those thoughts, images, feelings, sensations, emotions and behaviors most associated with the activation of the latent energy residue the more effectively I can begin to consciously take steps to calm, soothe and comfort the emotional pain that has been triggered.
For me this begins with physical and emotional relaxation. I have specific exercises based on Qigong that help to discharge and soothe the physical and emotional energy residue of hurt, loss and guilt that comprise much of the pain. It continues with meditation and visualization in which I can sense and feel the release of pain and allowing and accepting the soothing, comforting energy of kindness, understanding and patience. This exercise is done by laying down and placing my right hand over my heart chakra and my left hand over my lower tan t’ien (chakra just below the belly button) and visualizing, sensing, and feeling the soothing, comforting energy flow through. This is often accompanied by gently repeating an affirmation of “enoughness.”
Accessing your Support Network
The final step is to access and allow your support network to be there for you to help create a “holding environment”. The concept of a holding environment was developed by Donald Winnicott a paediatrician turned psychoanalyst to describe the safety and reliability of the therapeutic relationship that can be expanded to include close familial and social relationships. A holding environment is exactly that, where you feel held, safe and secure.
Being with another in a safe, non-judgmental relationship is possibly the most important aspect to healing. Being listened to and really heard is one of our most basic needs. Safe connection with another person may be the most direct way to access that part of ourselves that is our greatest resource. When another person can fearlessly be with us even as we are in excruciating pain it activates that inner part of ourselves that is strong, courageous and enduring.
